johngeades's Blog

27
Apr
Thank God Tiger Got Knee Surgery

After a long break from the Yard I am back to keep all of my 7 readers updated on whats going on. Tomorrow I have the Monday qualifier to try to get in the Wachovia Championship in my hometown of Charlotte. Couldn't be happier that Tiger is soft and couldn't take the pain in his knee so he decided to have surgery. This leaves him out of the tournament this week and gives me a chance to get a win if I get in the field tomorrow. There will be 4 spots for 75 guys so I have to bring out the best I got tomorrow. But after watching Ryan Moore swing the golf club today and finishing 2nd on the PGA tour I have convinced myself in 2 hours that I have the best golf swing in America. How that guy hits the ball is beyond me. The last month has filled with 4 Mini Tour events, 3 of which I made the cut. A Bachelor party trip to Vegas that I am not sure you can even tell some of the stories on the internet even with a anonymous profile. It was absolutely ridicules! I always was a fan a Vegas, but the place absolutely fits my personality. Aggressive, loud, nonstop, and as much action as you want. Without a doubt I will live there at some point in my life. To me it doesn't get much better than going to Tryst, staying up all night at the tables, sleeping for 3 hours and then hitting up the lazy river at MGM. I will be back later this week. Eades is back!
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25
Mar
The Top 10 Sexiest Golfers is a joke

For those of you who didn't see the Top 10 Sexiest golfers on the golf channel you missed out. Like all shows on the golf channel it will be replayed 56 times in the next 2 weeks so I am sure you can catch it. There are to really key points to talk about on this list- ONE is the fact that if Christie Kerr is in your top 5! The LPGA tour needs new requirements for getting on tour, because they have to do better than this. If they showed close up shots on just about any LPGA tour player without makeup on (especially Paula Creamer) you couldn't print it in any magazine or post it on any website. The LPGA website would just be words because no one would be able to look at it for more than 5 seconds. I don't know how that tour stays alive, but I guarantee I would watch if they got hotter players and made them play in less clothes. I mean should any top 10 sexiest players in a sport include men? This is the sad part, 7 out of 10 in golf were men, and they forgot me! So really 8 out of 10. I guess we could boycott the LPGA tour until their players are more attractive but that would require us to watch it at some point and I would recommend us never doing that. Big Bachelor party in Vegas this weekend, should come back with some great stories and some dynamite pictures/videos!
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04
Mar
Straight out of Guatemala

After spending 7 days in the Guatemala I guess I should just be happy I didn't come back with Mad Cow or the Clap! All I heard before I went was to avoid beef, lettuce, and the whore house. I managed to avoid 1 of 3 and both things I tried included a fork. We stayed in a fantastic 5 star hotel in Guatemala City called the Clarion Suites. It was surrounded by fantastic restaurants, great casinos and decent shopping. We rode a bus north of the city and up a mountain every day to place called San Isidro. One of the most beautiful country clubs I have ever been too in my life. It overlooks Guatemala City, stares at 2 volcanoes, and has some of the fastest greens I have ever played in my life. As for the golf tournament I made the cut after a 79-72 which put in in 30 position going into the weekend but I struggled for 80-79 on the weekend and finished 57th. Obviously these scores sound like I should be playing in the 10 year old division in your local club championship but the conditions to play in were brutal. 30 mph winds and greens rolling 12, made birdies hard to come by and bogeys coming in bunches. I have played 3 US Amateurs and this is right up there with playing Oakmont. I hate to use excuses, but the place was just ridiculous. I will be back with some stories later in the week, right now I have to watch how Maryland managed to give a up a 20 point lead with 11 minutes left and flush our NCAA dreams down the toilet in the process. I have posted some pictures on my blog website check them out. www.johnnyeades.blogspot.com
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24
Feb
Am I Retarded?

Whats up everyone in the Yard. Thought I would share a little story from the weekend before I head off for the first trip of the year. This is the burning question the day, am I retarded? How is it possible seeing my car (white tahoe) parked left of this sign, that I get my car put in a boot? Most of the time I have a tendency to cut corners or take risks that I probably shouldn't take in life but last night is one of the few times in my life I went the extra mile and it only hurt me. So I am pulling into to parking garage at Nikko's sushi bar and there are spots everywhere but the sign tells me to go to the 4th floor and there is designated parking for the restaurant. So I decide that to be safe tonight I will just do what the sign tells me. As I get to the 4th level I look up and see this sign. No problem, right! Wrong, apparently there are designated spots on the 4th level that you can and cant park in. After an entertaining and great meal at Nikko's, I return to wheel the old Tahoe towards downtown Charlotte and there is a boot on my car and a sign on my window giving me a phone number to remove the boot. At this point I am fairly calm, but after the tow truck arrives and the biggest jackass in the country steps out of his car my mood quickly changed. He informs me that it is a $100 fine to remove the boot and he doesn't accept credit cards. ( I mean I usually don't just roll with hundy's) After laughing for a solid 7 minutes in this guys face I have no choice but to hand him a crisp $100 bill from my wallet. Of all the bets I have lost in my life, this easily is the hardest hundy I have ever had to give up. I felt like I was selling my soul to the devil or something. Just remember I usually feel like I am better than things around me so for me to even get the 4th level without parking was a miracle. I must have passed 300 open spots on my way up. After 20 minutes of debating and taking pictures of the scene I tell this 300 pound tow truck driver that I demand his card and name because I am taking him to court. As he begins to walk away I take all 155 pounds of me and get in his face. Before this guy got hurt he decided to give me his card but to be even more of a jackass he ripped off the sign on my window but left the paper stuck to the glass and I cant get it off. I realize now that it probably isn't even worth making a scene over but after 3 bourbon and gingers on a Saturday night after a Terps loss at Miami I was up for a fight! I am headed to the airport tomorrow to catch a plane to the 3rd world country of Guatemala. I am going to do my best to stay out of that little Casino and many strip clubs and focus on my game. I truly have never felt as good as I do right now over the golf ball so a good finish is in the cards. I am atleast assured of coming back with some great pictures and unbelievable stories at worst!
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13
Feb
The Worlds Most Boring Wednesday

I should have started earlier trying to have kids with the ladies after watching this video. I don't know if this kid Cody Paul has been on Yard Barker before, but all I know is he is the man. After watching the video for the seventeenth time, I have decided that I am either going to let him consummate my marriage on my wedding night or take the virginity of my first daughter. He could officially be the next great white hope. Check out the video and let me know what ya'll think. Second on the agenda, I was dragged on a double date last night to see the new Kate Hudson and Matt McConaughey movie, Fool's Gold. This could honestly be the worst movie that I have even been to in my whole life. I am fairly certain that the directors were aware of the atrocious script and thus had to devise a plan to retain viewers; consequently, McConaughey and Hudson were basically naked for most of the movie. I understand he has a hot body and the ladies like him (no homo) and she is sexy (needs a little upper body enhancement), but if I just wanted to see bodies I would have stayed at home and watched skinomax or found something on the web. I know the entire world uses ebay, but I am losing my virginity today as I am about to post my first items to sell. I have already bid on ACC basketball tickets here in Charlotte. If any readers have any leads on tickets, let me know! The off-season is starting to move by pretty fast since I am less than 2 weeks from my first tournament in Guatemala. Without a doubt, this is going to be a breakout season for me. GO Terps, beat Duke!
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Thank God Tiger Got Knee Surgery

The Top 10 Sexiest Golfers is a joke

Straight out of Guatemala

Am I Retarded?

The Worlds Most Boring Wednesday

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